Do you need grace? I need grace…every day. Some days more than others, but everyday much more than I should. I sure do need it today, I’m having a hard time with my yoke…again.
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Romans 7:18-19 ESV
The Holy Spirit inspired the Apostle Paul to write the above scripture more than twenty years after he became a Christian. Most days it feels like he wrote it specifically for me. In fact, if you were to ask me to tell you about myself, I’m not sure there’s a better response than, “Are you familiar with Romans 7:18-19?” Then a very sobering thought occurred to me…as much as I know this verse is true…I’ve become pretty ‘ho-hum’ about it, about the gift of grace that saves me from all that sin. Let me give you and example…

The other day I signed up for one of those ‘free trial’ offers from a video streaming provider. Free turned out to cost $54.04. Now that shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did, and irritated me too. I wanted to give them another two cents…on what I thought about their definition of ‘free’. But somehow I managed to keep most of my true feelings from leaking out of my fingertips as I drafted a ‘professional’ email to the company’s customer service department. I ‘politely’ pointed out their error and requested a refund. And they ‘politely and professionally’ responded–turning me down flat, without even explaining why.
I spent the next few days seething about the situation. But not about my bad (sinful) attitude–at least not for more than a few moments. Oddly, I wasn’t even really that upset about the way the streaming service had treated me. No, I was obsessing over the loss of the $54! How ridiculous is that?
I’ll let you judge…but you won’t be the only one…
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. 2 Corinthians 5:10 ESV
Sometime in the future I will find myself standing before the judgement seat. But the Lord isn’t going to be interested in what happened to the money that day. He’s going to want to know why I buried a root of bitterness in my heart…why I didn’t forgive those who wronged me…why I was worrying about mammon instead how to please Him. And I suspect He might also be interest in the fact that my sin lasted for days, while my repentance was barely a fleeting thought.
As I try to visualize it, I just don’t see how Judgement Day can really only last a day! Maybe it has something to do with a day being a thousand years to the Lord, but even a thousand years doesn’t seem long enough when you stop to consider the scope of what we’ll be judged on. Here’s another scripture that speak to that,…”I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37), That’s daunting enough, but we’ll also be judged on the words and deeds we don’t do…So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:17). Then I think you have to throw this into the mix too…Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight (Psalm 19:14).
WOW! So even my thoughts and emotions get weighed. And speaking of weighed, when I stop and try to picture what judgement day might look like, it goes something like this…

I imagine I’m standing before the Lord, and He’s seated on His throne. Between us stands a table, and on the table rests a set of scales. Then suddenly I’m not me me anymore, I’m six year old me, sneaking into my best friend’s backyard while he’s away from home–and I’m stealing his favorite Tonka truck.
I took the truck, ran home and hid it under my bed…and there it stayed for the next three or four years–I was too ashamed to even pull it out and look at it. I’m not sure that was my first sin. More likely, it’s just the first one I remember. But since we’ll also be judged on the sins we don’t remember, that’s probably not where the scene would really begin.
Anyway, the “Tonka truck” sin lands on the scale and Judgment Day continues, sins on one side, good thoughts, words and deeds on the other. Every single day of my life gets played out like that–everything I feel, think, say or don’t say, do or don’t do…all of it weighed out on those scales before the Lord. How could all that possibly happen in a single day? And the beat goes on, the day progresses. Things aren’t too lopsided in my early years–or maybe they were…God knows. But by the time I hit my teens there’s no doubt, the daily battle of balancing the scales has become a salt shaker fighting to keep pace with a dump truck–and many of those days the salt shaker doesn’t even show up.
An eternity later we finally reach the day I gave my life to Jesus; you’d think that might turn the tide a little bit, but the sin side continues to get loaded up, while the opposite platter continues to gather more dust than good. And so it goes until finally, mercifully, all is said and done–and unsaid and undone. Then, with every second of my life brought out of the darkness and exposed to the light, we see the final result–an anthill in the shadow of Mt. Everest. And the undeniable verdict–guilty, guilty, GUILTY!
And the time has come for the Lord to do His part…
The Righteous Judge lifts his hand and extends it towards me. But He doesn’t point an accusing finger. Instead His hand is reaching for mine, seeking to pull me up off the ground where I lay crumpled in despair. As He does a single crimson drop of blood falls from His nail pierced palm. It lands with a blinding flash of light on the scale below, instantly washing away a lifetime of sin–the wages of death; they vanish–as far as the east is from the west. Free from the weight of sin, the scales reverse themselves; they bottom out with a resounding cymbal clash of victory, the spiritual fruits gathered upon them finally shining forth brightly. God is GOOD!!!
But let’s not let go of the image of that single drop of precious blood just yet. Not until we take a moment to realize that it represents an ocean full of grace. Grace that not only washes lost souls clean, but also obliterates each and every sin that separates us from our Father in Heaven.
So I have to ask myself…what if I stopped taking God’s saving grace for granted…what if instead I started focusing as much attention on my sins as I did the loss of a few measly dollars? What if I become diligent about fervently repenting each day? Might that possibly lead to a few less dump truck loads and a little more salt shaking. Oh, I know it would never come close to balancing the scales, but I still have to believe that the Judge would approve of the effort.
Or does it really matter? After all…For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV). So how important can our trying to do good really be? Well, the answer to that is…more important than almost anything else in the world. But that’s a topic for another post, another day…good Lord willing.
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit,
Mike
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